So you don’t want your robot hands crushing objects that they pick up? You are going to need Robotic Finger Sensors. These use infrared distance sensing and data filtering to detect light touches. The silicon covering offers increased friction to measure force.
Here is how this sensor works:
IR light from the VCNL4040 distance sensor dramatically scatters when an object like a white coffee cup or human skin comes in contact with the face of the sensor.
Costs under $40 at this time. More info is available here.